A Beary Sticky Situation

Last weekend, my friend Chris (Mr. Robin to you) went on a holiday with his parents and left me in charge of his little patch in Ashdown Woods. Chris is practically an adult at 6 years old, that’s why he’s allowed to have his own scrap of woodland, peopled with creatures from his father’s imagination- a bear of little brain, a depressive donkey and a squeaky piggy.

I am too young to have a full fledged world of my own, though I do have the beginnings of one (I know Mommy & Daddy have noticed me playing games of make-believe where my toys live their lives by complex rules I have set them). Still, it was good to have a go at administering an imaginative landscape that’s ancient compared to mine, and fully formed, unlike mine.

I went down to the woods the first chance I got last Saturday to say hello to my new subjects, but there was no-one around! All the windows were tightly shut and on each door hung identical signs- ‘NO WAN ET HUM’!

I stood in the clearing between the little cottages, befuddled, and wondering what to do. Where had everybody gone? Could this be the end of my brief career as the (acting) ruler of a country of fictitious critters? Pom-Pum-Tum (dramatic background music)

I was about to throw in the muzzie and go home when I heard a squeak and a rustle. And then I saw the tip of a curly pink tail disappear quickly into a crack in one of the tiny houses. They were there after all, just hiding!

Ooh, I do love a game of Hide and Seek but I figured I should introduce myself first.
“Piglet!” I cried, “Eeyore and Pooh, come out and play with me. I’ve brought toys and I have so many good ideas for games!”
“Go home” yelled a little voice, “And take your grubby, hunny-grabbing paws with you!”
“Yes” quavered another, “We don’t want your games. We just want our hunny back!”
“But I haven’t taken your honey!” I cried, feeling a tad aggrieved, “I’m not allowed to have any till I’m one. I can prove it...” And I picked up my heels and hurried home.

I wasn’t running away from the problem, you understand, I was heading home to dig into Mommy’s Baby File where I knew I’d find proof of my innocence. I was ever so quiet as I went about my business because Mommy doesn’t like me messing with her important papers. Little does she know that though I may look like I'm playing, I'm really making sure everything is in order as she can be a wee bit scatty sometimes (don’t tell her I said so)! I found what I was looking for at the bottom of a pile of 'Baby Do’s and Don’ts'. Written in bold on the ‘What Not to Feed Baby’ chart were the crucial words- ‘BABY IS NOT ALLOWED HONEY TILL HE’S ONE’!

Just as I was about to scamper back, I was scooped up and held tight.
“Gotcha” Mommy said, “Playing with my papers again!”

Caught red-handed- was this the end of the road for me and my woodland friends?! Pom-Pum-Tum (more dramatic background music)

I was disheartened momentarily till I remembered that this was Mommy and she always understood. So I told her everything. She listened with interest and then suggested that on top of the baby food chart as evidence, wouldn’t it be a good idea to take them a jar of honey to replace what they'd lost?

As I returned to the clearing bearing gifts, all the critters came tumbling out of their hidey holes, at first warily, and then with alacrity as news of that large pot of honey spread.

Eeyore took a good long look at the ‘Baby Do’s and Don’ts’ chart with his reading glasses awobble on his snout, and then declared to the gathering with his usual gravitas- “HEE NUT TEK DA HUNNY”. They cheered loudly in response and gathered ‘round for their share.

I had won the day. And when Pooh offered me some of his small (by his standards) portion of honey, I knew I’d made friends too (I didn’t have any of it, I swear; oh, maybe just a little, but it's not a patch on chocolate)!

All's well that ends well, you say, but one problem remained...

Who had stolen their honey???
Pom-Pum-Tum (dramatic background music reaches a crescendo)

Join me for the next instalment as I return to Ashdown Woods to hunt down the heinous hunny thief!