Eastern Delight

If all's been quiet on the western front, it’s because I had gone east. I travelled to Kolkata and had the time of my life! I met so many wonderful people, did such a lot of new stuff and had sooo much fun that I don’t know where to begin describing it all to you.

I guess I could begin at the beginning with our journey to Kolkata. We had to stop in Dubai on our way there. Knowing how tiring the whole thing was going to be for my parents (they are getting on a bit at 30+), I decided to be very, very good all the way to Dubai. I watched the world grow tiny from my window seat, flirted with a fellow passenger- an ‘older woman’ of six years of age, and even deigned to sleep in the cramped bassinet the airline provided.

Once in Dubai, we had to make a mad dash for the connecting flight because our flight in was dreadfully late. Already a little shook up, I couldn’t stay on my best behaviour (though I tried my best) during take-off when the growing pressure in the cabin really hurt my ears. I howled and howled, partly from frustration as my parents ineffectually handed me bottles and rattles and other baby things that are just too juvenile for me. I could’ve told them to hand me a biscuit to munch on if I wasn’t in so much pain and quite so busy howling. Luckily, they figured it out for themselves before the flight back (they may not have my lightning-quick wit but they do their best).

There was good news and bad news waiting for us at Kolkata Airport. The bad news was that the airlines had lost our bag with all my baby food (and most of the gifts for our family) but I forgot all about it the minute I saw Dida and Dadu waiting for us at the exit, ready to take me home.

On the way home, I got so hot and sweaty that Mommy and Daddy peeled off all my clothes before Pishi(moni)Dida and Budida, my great grandmother, saw me for the very first time. I was embarrassed to be presented in this roody noody state as I like to make a good first impression but they seemed thrilled to see me nevertheless!

Home turned out to be an eccentrically shaped pink three-storied house in Jodhpur Park that my Mommy had grown up in. I felt right at home straight away. Despite her reputation, Dida didn’t bat an eyelid as I rearranged furniture, remodelled her best crockery (some might say ‘broke’) and lightened the load on Dida and Dadu’s crowded bookshelves.

I made friends with all the ladies who work at our house. They seemed awfully exotic to me with their bright saris and incessant chatter and activity. Though I was introduced to saris when Dida came over last year I had never seen such a flurry of them before and the colours, not only of their saris but of everything in India, dazzled me.

I did exciting new things like sat up in the car when we travelled (India has different car safety laws) and nimbly walked on cool, tiled floors, using Dida’s light wicker stools for walkers. I experienced real heat for the first time as Kolkata sweltered in it’s hottest spring in twenty years (lots of cold baths and Dadu and Dida’s air-conditioned guest room kept me cool). I tasted wonderful new food like that lovely spicy ‘fish fry’ that Mommy and Daddy let me have a tiny bit of. I was especially thrilled to be able to use all of my eight brand new teeth!

And I met people- droves of people, warm friendly people, people who just couldn’t get enough of me (I am a bit of a star in the UK as well but it’s the difference between being Abhishek and Amitabh Bachchan)! Not only did I revel in showing off my many advanced baby skills to family, close relatives and old friends, I was also quite a draw at the shopping malls, restaurants and markets we visited. I wasn’t just the lucky recipient of coos, cuddles and compliments from the people close to me, complete strangers on the plane, at the airports and everywhere we went waved, shook my hand, pinched my cheek (which every baby learns to grin and bear) and had oodles of questions for Mommy and Daddy about me. Eat your hearts out Brangelina!

What I really want to write about are the very special family members I met for the first time- Dadu, Mashi and Budida. I’d love to tell you about becoming best buddies with Dadu, being mothered by Mashi and Dida and the brilliant chats with Budida, but I can’t. Not today. Today is Mother’s Day you see and it’s only fair I devote all my time to Mommy (even though that’s what I do most days)! I have bought her a very cute card, a great box of choccies and the latest Alexander McCall Smith book which she’ll love but I know it’s the time you spend with your loved ones that really counts. And that’s the only thing that makes me sad about my Kolkata trip- it was much too short.

But a baby can’t be gloomy for too long so let me tell you what I’m planning for my next post. It’ll be all about the fabulous time I spent with my family; the manly bonding with Dadu, the coming of the Ma-sheep, my Dida’s 60th birthday and finally, sadly, our trip back.

Till then, happy Mother’s Day to all the mommies out there and fear not, my faithful fans, I shall not take as long between posts as I have recently.

P.S. For those who are wondering if I have forgotten about saving Ashdown Woods from the rampaging Honey Monster, I have not, but as any good strategist knows, you have to strike when the time is right. I am awaiting my moment.