After months of angst (and dribble), I have got to the root of my troubles- there is a growth and it’s in my mouth. In fact, there are two (and a half) of them and they are called teeth! They look and feel a tad strange, like bits of chewy baby rice I’ve forgotten to swallow. I was in great discomfort when they were coming through but now I wouldn’t be without them (although I will have to part with them in a few years, I’m told, but only to make way for others). What are the advantages of teeth you cry, my baby brethren, when they cause us such pain and grief?
Well, for one, I have a dazzling new smile. Show me one Hollywood hunk without pearly whites and I will show you…a baby; a baby who will only ever do the one role and then disappear from our screens forever! And it’s not just about superficialities like appearance, everything I do seems to have more bite (hardy har har).
Chomping on my parents’ fingers is so much more satisfying than it used to be; the occasional anguished scream when I sink my new teeth in is also quite exciting! Plus, I can now show my two toy pooches, Popsi and Pru, who’s boss with a well placed nip or two. Two can play at the same game, you see!
But most importantly, my gastronomic horizons have broadened beyond belief. Just yesterday I was having milk, milk and more milk. Today I can have nibbles, finger foods and little snackeroos I can play with before I eat! It makes my head spin just thinking of all the wonderful new munchies I can get my two (and a half) teeth into!
What more can I say to persuade you to grow teeth, my infant friends, except that it is your passport to foodie heaven? Talking of Foodies, this one must now toddle off to have his tea...
1 comment:
You have a doggy called Popsy? What a coincidence, your Mum and I had one too. Curiouser and curiouser. Very inspirational piece on the virtues of teeth, if I didnt have a few already I'm sure I would've yearned for a set of my own!
On an aside for your Mom, I heard of some anxious mother who went to a doctor and asked why her baby didnt have teeth yet and the Dr said, "Don't worry, they'll come. Have you ever seen a grown up without any teeth at all?"
Post a Comment