Jumperoo Jack Flash

They call me Jack Flash, Jumperoo Jack Flash. The Native Americans of deepest darkest Amazon call me this because I’m agile and quick-witted. Many-a-time have I helped them vanquish nasty crocs and other creepy crawlies that threaten their homes and children (one child reported encountering a one-eyed crocodile who waved a knife under his nose and said ‘Oi’ in a menacing way). My feats of daring have established my reputation with them as ‘One to Depend on to Do the Best Of Derring-do’s’ (to be considered an ODD BOD is the highest honour amongst the tribes of the Amazon Rainforest).

This weekend I was back in the Amazon helping a venerable tribal chief rescue his daughter from some oversized bugs. They had flown off with her, mistaking her for one of their own as she was prancing about in a neon green polka dotted catsuit which the chief had brought back from New York where he occasionally went to watch his favourite Broadway musicals. But I digress. The Toms Toms summoned me to the Amazon and at the head of a handful of tribal Braves I stormed the bugs’ bastion and reunited the doting chief and his daughter. I sustained a few scratches (which Mommy questioned me about but my lips are sealed; the rainforest tribes are a reclusive people) but I think you will find the bugs fared much worse and it will be many years before they consider kidnapping another badly dressed child.

That I am writing this at all is because I want to debunk the myth that I am a superhero before I become the stuff of legend and over-the-top-tabloid tales.

I am merely human. When I scratch myself (as I do quite often in a tizzy because I’ve been put in my crib) I definitely bleed. What I do have, however, is a secret weapon- a wonderful, bouncing, music-playing, light-flashing, animal-noise-emitting vehicle (for want of a better word to describe this unique thing) which carries me into these adventures and then away, unscathed.

My Swiss aunt and uncle bought it for me thinking it would make a brilliant toy but little did they know that it was capable of much more! It has been my trusty steed in times of need and my inspiration in tight corners (like the time I outwitted a troupe of terrible toucans who held me captive in their tree, but that’s another story). I bow to you my comrade-in-arms, and to Bilky Mashi and Olaf Mesho, I say 'thank you'! For some reason Mommy and Daddy want to thank them too for ‘peace at mealtimes’- beats me what that’s about...