A Beary Sticky Situation

Last weekend, my friend Chris (Mr. Robin to you) went on a holiday with his parents and left me in charge of his little patch in Ashdown Woods. Chris is practically an adult at 6 years old, that’s why he’s allowed to have his own scrap of woodland, peopled with creatures from his father’s imagination- a bear of little brain, a depressive donkey and a squeaky piggy.

I am too young to have a full fledged world of my own, though I do have the beginnings of one (I know Mommy & Daddy have noticed me playing games of make-believe where my toys live their lives by complex rules I have set them). Still, it was good to have a go at administering an imaginative landscape that’s ancient compared to mine, and fully formed, unlike mine.

I went down to the woods the first chance I got last Saturday to say hello to my new subjects, but there was no-one around! All the windows were tightly shut and on each door hung identical signs- ‘NO WAN ET HUM’!

I stood in the clearing between the little cottages, befuddled, and wondering what to do. Where had everybody gone? Could this be the end of my brief career as the (acting) ruler of a country of fictitious critters? Pom-Pum-Tum (dramatic background music)

I was about to throw in the muzzie and go home when I heard a squeak and a rustle. And then I saw the tip of a curly pink tail disappear quickly into a crack in one of the tiny houses. They were there after all, just hiding!

Ooh, I do love a game of Hide and Seek but I figured I should introduce myself first.
“Piglet!” I cried, “Eeyore and Pooh, come out and play with me. I’ve brought toys and I have so many good ideas for games!”
“Go home” yelled a little voice, “And take your grubby, hunny-grabbing paws with you!”
“Yes” quavered another, “We don’t want your games. We just want our hunny back!”
“But I haven’t taken your honey!” I cried, feeling a tad aggrieved, “I’m not allowed to have any till I’m one. I can prove it...” And I picked up my heels and hurried home.

I wasn’t running away from the problem, you understand, I was heading home to dig into Mommy’s Baby File where I knew I’d find proof of my innocence. I was ever so quiet as I went about my business because Mommy doesn’t like me messing with her important papers. Little does she know that though I may look like I'm playing, I'm really making sure everything is in order as she can be a wee bit scatty sometimes (don’t tell her I said so)! I found what I was looking for at the bottom of a pile of 'Baby Do’s and Don’ts'. Written in bold on the ‘What Not to Feed Baby’ chart were the crucial words- ‘BABY IS NOT ALLOWED HONEY TILL HE’S ONE’!

Just as I was about to scamper back, I was scooped up and held tight.
“Gotcha” Mommy said, “Playing with my papers again!”

Caught red-handed- was this the end of the road for me and my woodland friends?! Pom-Pum-Tum (more dramatic background music)

I was disheartened momentarily till I remembered that this was Mommy and she always understood. So I told her everything. She listened with interest and then suggested that on top of the baby food chart as evidence, wouldn’t it be a good idea to take them a jar of honey to replace what they'd lost?

As I returned to the clearing bearing gifts, all the critters came tumbling out of their hidey holes, at first warily, and then with alacrity as news of that large pot of honey spread.

Eeyore took a good long look at the ‘Baby Do’s and Don’ts’ chart with his reading glasses awobble on his snout, and then declared to the gathering with his usual gravitas- “HEE NUT TEK DA HUNNY”. They cheered loudly in response and gathered ‘round for their share.

I had won the day. And when Pooh offered me some of his small (by his standards) portion of honey, I knew I’d made friends too (I didn’t have any of it, I swear; oh, maybe just a little, but it's not a patch on chocolate)!

All's well that ends well, you say, but one problem remained...

Who had stolen their honey???
Pom-Pum-Tum (dramatic background music reaches a crescendo)

Join me for the next instalment as I return to Ashdown Woods to hunt down the heinous hunny thief!

A Whirlwind Week

Well, folks, I’m back after a week packed with activity and have I got news for you- I’ve now got two front teeth to complement the two bottom ones that had come out earlier!! I’ve also joined a playgroup and I don’t know which is better: the front teeth with which I can munch on crunchier snacks such as baby biscuits and my favourite carrot and coriander flavoured corn chips or being part of a playgroup which gives me access to a whole new collection of toys to play with (bash up, Mommy says). I can also have a sophisticated tête-à-tête with Erin’s mommy or Jason’s gran at the playgroup. Mommy says I’m supposed to mingle with the other babies but can I help it if I find the state of the economy more interesting than ‘goo-goo-ga-ga-poo-bah’? Luckily, it’s not an either-or; I can have both the nibbles and the play sessions!

Bet you’re wishing you could trade places with me, but even a baby’s life is not all fun and games. Earlier this week, I had to look after Mommy and Daddy when, first, Daddy went down with a terrible case of food poisoning and then, Mommy caught a mild strain of the bug. I did my bit by sticking to Mommy like glue and complaining loudly if she left me for a moment, which I felt was the best way to take her mind off their troubles. A big thank you though to Aunties Diane and Cate for being such a huge help to Mommy and Daddy (almost as much as me!) and even to the local doctor who came out to see Daddy when he could barely get up after 16 hours of unrelenting sickness.

We also attended Great Grandma’s funeral last week. Whilst it was a very sad occasion, it was also a celebration of her life and love for family and friends. And so, amidst the sorrow, some funny, some sweet anecdotes about her were read out at the ceremony, as well as swapped at the gathering afterwards. Two of her favourite songs were played (very nice ones; I tried to sing along but Daddy shushed me). Cousin Eleanor and Cousin Matthew who are both about two years old and I (over 8 months now) impressed everyone with our good behaviour during the ceremony. So, despite the overcast morning and sombre event, it was not without joy and I think that’s how Great Grandma would have wanted it.

To end on a happy note, I must mention that my blog has had it’s 500th hit tonight. This is particularly satisfying as I disabled the cookies (mmm, wonder where that last bit of bickie went?) on our own computer from the start, so, when Mommy or Daddy or I visit my blog it does not count, which means some of you out there have returned more than once to read about my adventures! What could be more gratifying to a baby blogger?? Thank you all and good night!

In Vein

I went to the hospital for my kidney tests today. I have had a dodgy kidney since I was in Mommy’s tummy. It is only marginally wonky, but the doctors have conducted a lot of tests on me to find out why it doesn’t work as well as it should. As none of the tests were conclusive, they asked us to come in for a ‘Maggie’. A Maggie is a test where they pass a tiny dose of radioactive fluid through a vein so they can follow it’s journey through the kidney and find the blockage. When Daddy explained this to me, I quite fancied being mildly radioactive like a superhero (which, of course, many of my fans think I am, but I’m not. Not really) but it didn’t turn out to be much fun after all.

I haven’t been very well lately and hadn’t slept much when I was awakened at 6 am (I could’ve said ‘rudely’ but actually Mommy woke me up with milk and a cuddle) to go to the hospital. We arrived early and were shown into a playroom where I found a drum to bang on (give me a noisy toy and I’m content) and thought this may be a good day after all. But it was not to be. I should have guessed when the strange wheezy baby next to me was taken away that this was not a happy place for babies.

First, I was stripped and weighed on freezing cold scales, then stretched on this rack like thing to check my height. As a final indignity before the main tests began, a wee bag was left dangling from a certain part of my body- embarrassing and uncomfortable!

I was then taken down to the ultrasound room where a doctor spread an icky goo on my chest and back and then prodded me for the next twenty minutes with a cold thingammie whilst the very irritating Tinky Winky, Dipsy and Lala pranced on strings above me. What really got my goat was that he totally ignored my cries of protest to stare fixedly at some squiggly grey things squirming on a screen. Mommy told me later that he was looking at pictures of my kidney, which is all very well, I know people find every inch of me fascinating, but couldn’t I have been spared the torture of the dancing Teletubbies?

Finally, the big moment arrived and I was put on another icy table to be prepped for ‘Maggie’. I had a grim foreboding that this was not going to be a lark when they put numbing anaesthetic gel on my hands and feet. As if not being able to feel your extremities wasn’t bad enough, the nurse then brought out a battery of needles and started sticking them into me! I howled and howled. I howled so hard that Mommy burst into tears! Daddy carried on stoically jiggling a purple spotted bear (was it ill?) in front of me but I could see he wasn’t too keen on proceedings either.

But it was all in vain (it’s a good thing we, babies, have short memories, I can now see the funny side of this morning’s events). Once they had jabbed me in every conceivable place looking for a vein to stick the intravenous tube into and drawn a blank, they had to call it off, but not before I’d managed to pinch the nurse hard for making Mommy cry and me, feel like a pincushion!

I slept all the way home after that and woke to kisses and cuddles from Mommy and Daddy, and milk, the cure for all ills (sadly, not for a loopy kidney)!

Unfortunately, this story doesn’t end here as I may be recalled for a Maggie when I’m slightly older and have less elusive veins, but we are all keeping our fingers crossed that the consultant looks at the results of the string of tests taken today and declares me well enough to be given the ‘all clear’!

Missing you, Great Grandma.

Love
Syon
xxx